A Long and Painful Journey

DEAR FRIENDS OF THIS BLOG, first of all, I apologize for not having updated my blog these last two months but now I am back to continue to share with you all about Community Development Activities taking place here in Chimbote - Perú. If you allow me, I would like to share through this post, and as a way of relief also, the main reason I stayed away from updating my blog. Around five years ago my mom was initially diagnosed with a small inflamed ganglion inside of her right neck, at the bottom. According to a doctor from a local hospital there was nothing to worry about; however as the time went by the doctor said that it was necessary to do a biopsy to see the nature of the ganglion that was like a little tumor.

Unfortunately the result said that small inflamed ganglion was actually a lymphoma or ganglion cancer. I remember very clearly that day when my brother Carlos Beltrán with my mom Eusebia Oroya came back home from the hospital after knowing the result. It was around 11:00 am, my brother alone came close and said to me: "Pablo, our mom has cancer and the doctor said that she must be urgently taken to the National Institute For Neoplastic Diseases - INEN in Lima." INEN is a big hospital, 7 hours bus ride, that treats all kind of cancer. This bad news shocked me so much that it seemed to me a nightmare. My entire family was saddened and cried not allowing my mom was aware of it.

That day I personally felt so sad and I thought of my dad when many years ago he got sick and after a while he passed away. I left my home feeling a pain in my chest and throat; I couldn't assimilate the fact. I headed to the Cristo Redentor school to talk to Br. Juan Tapia. I shared everything with him as I was crying. He prayed deeply for me and after that special moment I felt good. Well, we, my whole family, quickly started making arrangements to take my mom to the INEN in Lima. From that day on we would take my mom to Lima very often.

Sadly, as the time went by, another cancerous tumor was found in her larynx and because of it she was gradually losing her voice and not able to eat very well because when she tried she drown with food and certainly those were terrible moments for her even for all of us. She was fed in a very special way. Unfortunately the doctor told us her cancer was a terminal one because it was very advanced and the only thing to do was wait.

She started staying home with us and in this context we made contact with the Apostle Santiago Hospice which is a Non-Profit Organization located here in Chimbote, existing and running because of American benefactors' support and whose goal is to bring special medical care to those people suffering terminal diseases like cancer. Its medical professionals took care of her health and taught us how to do it as well. Among the medical professionals that very often came to my house to monitor my mom's health were: Doctors, nurses, social worker, therapist, psychology, spiritual guide and volunteers from the USA and Canada.

By this experience I have learnt that whenever a member of the family gets sick, one way or another the entire family gets sick as well. She had to use oxygen tanks to be able to breathe. I personally felt brokenhearted and devastated every time I saw her in that condition. I needed strength, hope, faith and consolation. The only thing I could do, apart from taking care of her, was to pray. I thank God because there were Christians from the United States, Spain, Costa Rica, South Africa and Lima- Perú praying for her and my family all the time even a Christian friend of mine from Maryland-USA named Timothy Merkel came to visit us and he was a great blessing from God for all of us in the midst of this painful experience.

Sadly my mom passed away on Tuesday July 20th at 7:40pm when all of us, her children, were praying around her. Obviously we started crying because we knew that from now on she would not be physically with us anymore. I looked at her and I could see her face completely at peace. At that moment I felt a strange mixture of peace and anxiety, faith and sadness even though I knew she was in heaven enjoying the presence of the Lord with no sufferings. I have to say that this journey was not easy for me nor my family because the next days were very painful emotionally and physically like never before.

Now I must say that this journey has helped me to experience God's peace and comfort inside of me through people who cared about us all this time. I am still in my process of grief but thank God I feel a little better and the best of all is that I am not alone facing this for I feel like God was and is with me in this journey.

Dear friends, thank you very much for allowing me to share this experience with you and this way sublimate some of my pain. This verse from the Bible encourages me and I would like to share with you all: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" Is. 41:10

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